Gourmet Salts Can Suck It

Foodies have convinced me of a lot of things. I'm first to admit. But a recent run-in w/a certain salt has made me swear off buying "gourmet" salts.

Because options are nice, I have two salts in my kitchen. Iodized & Kosher.

  

 Recently, I received a little extra spending money so I decided to splurge. On salt. (I know. I don't wanna hear it.) 

I took my happy self down to the specialty food store. I made a bee-line to where the salts are kept. I stood there looking at the many varieties of salt. Me looking at them. Them looking back at me. I ran my finger over a few. Read some of their stories.

This isn't me. But it might as well be.

Once acquainted, I started racking my brain for salt facts.

Thoughts something like this started going through my head: Fleur de Sel is from France and comes in flecks. Would prove to be a nice finishing salt. Red salt. Pew. Smells like sulfur. Grey sea salt. Doesn't Michael Chiarello use this? Yah, I think he does.

What a tool.

I'm not buying Grey Sea Salt.

Fleur de Sel it is.

  Okay, $12.99 for 6oz. So, 16oz = a pound. Calculater time. 16 divided by 6 equals 2.667. Okay, 2.667 times 12.99 equals (pause for reaction)

THIRTY FOUR DOLLARS & SIXTY FOUR CENTS?!

... WHAAAAAT?!

$34.64 per pound for Fluer de Sel that, oh whadaya know, still tastes like salt.

That's when it hit me. What am I doing? It's salt. What the eff is finishing salt anyways? Is there a salt section here for beginning salt? No. There's not, because it's an imaginery made up thing. If I bought salt that was $34.64 a pound, I'd never use it. I'd just look at it. It'd be too painful for me to use. Hey everybody! Fleur de Sel is on Aisle RIDICULOUS.

Needless to say, I didn't buy it & left immediately. Once home, I kissed & made up with my iodized and Kosher salt for ever trying to find a salt any better.

$34.64. (in my John McEnroe voice) You've GOT to be kidding me!

Don't get me wrong though, if anyone wants to gift me Fleur de Sel... don't think twice. I'd love to look @ it in my kitchen.